we dance for laughter.. we dance for fun.. we dance for hopes.. & we dance for love...

McKynlee craves music & movement.. it's her play. her fun. her words. her involvement. her expression. her everything. She can listen to music & express herself through movement, dance and interactive play 24/7!  Too bad I don't have enough energy to carry out that long and nothing else to take care of or do... but I do make a point to take special time out each & every day just to share in this experience with her sometimes an hour or more at a time! How could I not... her smile and laughter are beyond contagious & knowing the level of enjoyment she receives from it is completely undeniable... I love to hear her use her words & say 'I wanna a squeeze!' followed by a great big hug, or 'back & forth' or 'side to side' or 'I wanna spin.. get ready. get set-y. get go-y!' or 'you wanna do a flip-a-roo?' or 'teeter-totter' *these are the names of the games we play and dances moves we do!!!

{See that dark auburn hair of mine.. it's getting highlights weaved in @ 3 o'clock today!}

"The Dancer believes that his art has something to say which cannot be expressed in words or in any other way than by dancing... there are times when the simple dignity of movement can fulfill the function of a volume of words. There are movements which impinge upon the nerves with a strength that is incomparable, for movement has power to stir the senses and emotions, unique in itself. This is the dancer's justification for being, and his reason for searching further for deeper aspects of his art." ~Doris Humphrey, 1937

Kynlee's in heaven when she's playin' in the water~

She starts out like this...

then she listens for where the water is,

puts her head under the trickling stream

 and giggles muchly...

..and before we know it, 

she's hoisted her whole upper body into the sink,

 comes out soaking wet.. and loves every minute of it!

If she knew the tune, 

I'm sure she'd be singing the old song

'Heaven.. I'm in Heaven!!!'

This is her favorite thing to do while I'm working in the kitchen.

I love to see her her play and explore, 

she often gets the biggest kick out of the simplest things...

I love to hear her sudden bursts of laughter too,

so much so...

that I'm the one singing the old song

'Heaven.. I'm in Heaven!!!'

intermingled with a little twirl here & there...

When the red, red robin comes bob, bob, bobbin' along...

I think I might be crazy by the end of the day if the dogs don't stop barking at the big red robins that continuously flutter in-n-out of the trees all-day-long... Seriously, they've mostly Mable's been barking at them ever since I got home from dropping the kids off from school three hours ago! ENOUGH ALREADY, it's just a bird! My poor neighbors.. I hope they're busy about their day running errands.

This is what my morning looks like most days. It's my favorite morning spot. Sitting at my table looking out at the big mountains with the sun coming up. This is where I like to sit for my morning ritual: prayer. breakfast. scriptures. check emails/blogs. Only thing that's missing from my morning ritual right now is exercise, gotta add that in at the end. 


Tuesday night I went to a stake gathering for the women in my church, the focus was on Women of Faith in Jesus Christ. I was really inspired by the talks that were given. These are some of the things that I jotted down while there:


-Be grateful for your blessings & always be willing to help those in need.
-Be of good cheer!
-Be still and know that I am God.
-Personal growth & development.
-Trust in the Lord.
-You are here for a divine purpose.
-I walk by faith not by sight.


The next day I'd just finished a cup of Zupa's wisconsin cauliflower soup with oyster crackers mmm... while waiting in the carpool line to pick up Tanner and thoughts about something that's been on mind lately started flowing, I grabbed a pen & notebook and started to write this..


"What do I wanna be when I grow up???" Like this fall when Tanner will start 1st grade & go to school full day. I can't believe I'm already there... my youngest is starting 1st grade THIS YEAR! 

I used to dance! It was everything to me.. I would eat-drink-sleep-dream dance. It was my way of expressing myself through two of my favorite things at the time, music & movement. I loved it with every fiber of my being. I would give up going on family vacations just so I could stay home and not miss even just a practice. It drove me to push myself, to progress, to succeed and brought me much happiness.


When I got married I'd always dreamed of that next stage of life.. the days where I would have children and become a mother and I wanted if at all possible to have the opportunity to stay at home with them. I didn't want to have to work and fortunately I didn't have to. My dream came true. I must add too that I've never done anything harder than being a Mom and striving to be a good one. It's not easy. 


Now, I've fulfilled those "little years," all my kids will be in full day school next year and I kind of feel like I'm entering another new stage of life. I've thought about going back and starting over because I've found myself yearning for more children.. but I haven't ever felt sure about it for various reasons. My biggest concern is "what if I have another child that's disabled in anyway.. I don't think I could handle it." Having one has been the trial of a lifetime for me, it's made me grow and rely on the Lord and my faith in Jesus Christ much more than ever before and for that I am thankful, but it's also brought some of my darkest hours of stress, worry, concern, overwhelming sadness and frustration and I don't want to got through that with another child all over again, when I still have it to go through with McKynlee. I thought I'd talked myself into it recently, taking into consideration that all of my other kids are older now and would be a big help if another little one were to come our way, that although McKynlee still has challenges and always will to some extent the other children being older now are also a big help with her too, and Heavenly Father knows the righteous desires of my heart and if I put my faith in Him, He'll bless us with a healthy baby without disabilities/defects. 


But then Andres' sister had a little girl with less severe but similar issues as McKynlee & I got scared again and talked myself out it. We've had genetic testing done and were told that what happened to McKynlee was a clear mutation of a gene that started with her. We were tested and did not show any link or mutation in that same gene. This news gave me a little bit of confidence in my thoughts of having another baby although I'd still be worried because anything can happen.. but I felt that at least the chances were not higher than normal. When we found out about his sister's baby I immediately thought, it has to be genetic.. something so rare cannot happen to two babies in the same family (cousins) and not be. To be honest, my decision with having another baby is always wavering.. in the back of my mind but never a sure thing. More than likely with all that's transpired it's not something we'll do at this point... plus I do have five children to love dearly and I don't feel like anyone specific is missing from our family, more would just me nice.


So...  I don't want to waste time. I want to make the best of it. I feel like now is the time for growth and development, a time to make new discoveries about myself and to uncover hidden talents. A time to gain new knowledge and find ways to make a difference for good. This is what I'm praying for right now. 
I love being a mother and progressing & doing better in that role will always be my first priority, but later this year I feel like I will have the time to devote to and focus on ME a little more and I'm looking forward to it.  As long as I'm always there when the kids come home from school that's what matters most.

-Recent Random Cellphone Pictures-

Sometimes I'll take the kids by Sonic for Happy Hour Drinks & Slushes after school. The last time we went the kids got slushes. When we got home Sydnee poked a hole in the side of her styrofoam cup without me knowing and said.. 

"Look Mom! There's a thumb in my slush!"

 I scored this gritty sweater thrift shopping a couple of weeks ago & I love it!

Sydnee loves her little Pigwit, she tells me all the time they're best friends!

Just bein' our silly selves!

This is fun new twist on the old game Pictionary, it's called Creationary! Instead of drawing you create things with legos! We had lots of fun playing this for family night! 

My favorite scripture that stood out to me this week:

2 Nephi 22:2

Behold, God is my salvation; 

I will trust and not be afraid;

for the Lord Jehovah is my 

strength and my song...

I think we know most of them on a first name basis now...

I love this song from the movie Country Strong... 

 Don't forget to pause my playlist at the bottom before listening.
If these youtube links aren't working & ya wanna listen to the songs go here, here and here.

I didn't love the movie.. it was quite depressing and had a horrible ending but I really like some of the songs. Some people would say, Oh it's realistic.. well I don't wanna go to the movies to see realistic, there's enough of that in the world as it is.. I wanna go to the movies to be entertained and uplifted. If somebody hits rock bottom and their life is in the gutter.. I wanna see them pull out of it and come out on top better than before... because they hopefully learned from their mistakes and their ready to make things right. Anyway, back to the song.. This version of the song is not on the soundtrack. I hate that, when they leave off one of the best songs in the whole movie. They have a version of it with Faith Hill and it's just not the same. The duet with Garrett Hedlund & Leighton Meester from the movie was so good, the chemistry between them was so gritty and you just feel every word through their emotional connection to the song. You can buy this version on iTunes though!!!

I also really like these two songs. 

I'm lovin' Garrett Hedlund's voice.. a lot!

Last night was kinda crazy, we ended up calling the fire department a little after ten. We've now had the fire fighters out to our house 3 times since Thanksgiving! It's becoming quite the norm.. I think we know most of them on a first name basis now and we strike up conversations left off from the time before. Really it's just embarrassing but they don't seem to mind at all.  I don't think I documented the second time they came out so here's a list of reasons why:
Time #1. 
A few days before Thanksgiving, they came to help me discover that the horrible burning smell that was filling my house as I was making trips in & out of the house bringing all my holiday groceries in, was in fact the turkey that had fallen against the toaster pushing down the button, never allowing it to pop up and was melting the tag of the turkey on top the toaster.

Time #2.

Was over Christmas Break, I came home from doing some grocery shopping with Sydnee and walked into a house that reeked of stinky gas smell. That time we tried investigating the problem on our own and eventually around 11pm ended up calling the fire department for help. We didn't want to go to bed and never wake up. They came out and found some definite gas readings. They called the gas company and a guy came out around midnight to investigate further and see what he needed to fix. The poor guy ended up leaving at two in the morning after fixing not one... not two... but three different gas leaks. A significant one in our furnace, one in our water heater and one in our gas meter outside. Plus the dogs had bumped the propane button on our barbecue outside into the "on" position right by the air intake of the furnace, so it was flooding the house with propane on top of all the other leaks. Our house was a bomb waiting to explode... and we're so glad that it didn't and we were able to get everything fixed and back up and running properly.

Time #3.

Was last night of course, all of the sudden around 7:30 our fire alarms started going off but their was no sign of smoke or fire. They were going off for about 5 minutes and then turned off. We waited.. and about 10:00 they went off again, only this time they wouldn't turn off. Andres went around the upstairs and tried removing some of the alarms to see if it would deactivate them but the rest were still a go. So finally we called the fire department. Again. We all had to get out of the house. They came and had us replace the batteries in all the upstairs fire alarms and found a faulty one that was randomly setting them all off. Needless to say.. we took that one down and will be replacing it with a new one. 
Thank goodness for awesome firemen.. they've always been so nice when they've come out to help us with our various issues, some more serious than others. 

 (Photo Booth pic.s with Kynlee, she's my little cuddle-bug!)

I thought I was going to accomplish a lot today.. I had my list of things to do around the house and had good intentions of making a lot of it happen. Instead I got very little of what was on my list done.. but I did do the essentials, like starting my day with a prayer, personal scripture study and reading through this awesome talk from general conference. Thanks to good neighbors Marcus & Chandler were invited to Jump On It for a birthday celebration and Sydnee was invited to go along on a trip to Costco for some shopping/lunch & Blickenstaff's Toy Store with her best friend and her Mom! They couldn't have been happier... Tanner played for hours with his little friends Curtis and Miles and I spent lots of quality time with Kynlee, took a long bubble bath, made a trip to the store for dog food and prepared plans for dinner & family home evening. Andres had to work late so it was just me and the kids. Sydnee made Symphony Bar Brownies for the treat while the rest of us made dinner together, tuna melts + baked chips & olives. We spread out a big blanket and ate picnic style while we watched a movie, and Tanner in his own words "messed up my hair and made it beautiful" over & over again.

Today=

spontaneous plans..

meaningful moments 

& 

lots of play!

As for my BIG-LIST-OF-THINGS-TO-DO...  

I'LL TACKLE YOU TOMORROW WHEN THE KIDS ARE BACK IN SCHOOL!

AFTER:

I go visit a neighborhood friend
pick up Tanner from school
meet up with Cher for lunch @ Zupa's and...

IN-BETWEEN:

picking up the other kids from school
homework
taking Chandler to the Library to pick up a book to study for the Geography Bee
a trip to the store for science project stuff
making dinner
scouts
M&C's futsal game

And if I don't finish up with you tomorrow... 

I know you'll be there waiting on Wednesday too, so I'll finish ya then!

If it is the BE... It's up to ME...

It's been a good week.
It's had it's ups-n-downs just like most weeks, but it's all good. We learn from the downs and we relish in the ups!!!
I'm still dreaming of warmer spring days.. but I'm also trying to live in the moment and love the season we're in. Today I saw a cute idea to create a table with little bench chairs out of snow and having a winter picnic. I wanna do it before the snow is gone, I think the kids would get a kick out of it and I would too!

So far this new year has been rewarding and freeing... 
I've been de-cluttering, de-junking & organizing things that have been on that list-of-things-to-do for way to long... why do we (I) put off and procrastinate doing something that always makes me feel so much better afterwards?? I don't get it. Anyhow, it's getting done now and I'm lovin' it, plus by me going through all my things I've been meaning to get rid of for what seems like forever it's blessing & making other people happy too! 
I'm excited for 2011!!! I have high hopes for lots of improvement in my life personally and in our home. I have some fun projects up my sleeve that I can't wait to see unfold. I've been thinking a lot about this new year.. what my focus will be... in our family home evening on Monday we each came up with a few goals we want to work on. I feel like I have a lot I'm wanting to work towards this year so rather than an actual goal, I wrote some quotes that represent & support what I'm trying to accomplish in all areas. 

If it is to  

BE.. 

it's up to  

ME! 

When things are left to 

CHANCE... 

it seldom brings the 

DESIRED RESULT!

 We pulled McKynlee out of the school for the blind over Christmas break and she started up at her new school within the district on the 4th. It's been such a good change for her.. I honestly think we should have made the transition a long time ago. It's so much better in so many ways.. We are really happy about it! She got to go on her very first real field trip yesterday, they went to the Bean Museum and the Creamery for lunch and ice cream!!! I was so excited for her I could hardly stand it! It's so good to see her in a more normal setting with a lot more kids to socialize with and more opportunities for growth. 

 (gigglin' on a New Years Day family drive)

Andres called me from work yesterday and asked me out on a date! I love it when he does that.. We went to see The Green Hornet! It was really good. This morning I got to go on another date with him, only this one was planned. We got up early, dressed up and went here. 

On New Years Day we had an appointment to take the dogs into see the vet and get some shots. Mable is way more cautious then Grace. She was pretty nervous when the vet came in the room. She didn't want him to get close to her. He kept trying to offer her a treat but she kept backing up and had this look like "My Mom & Dad told me not to take treats from strangers, you weirdo!" Grace was totally fine with him she was eating her own treats AND the one's that Mable wouldn't take. The vet finished up with Grace and it was Mable's turn. I was sitting on the bench holding her leash and when the vet came up to give her the shot she climbed right up on the bench and scooted as close to me as she could. We all started to laugh... It was so funny. She's this huge dog that was all worried & afraid of getting her shot!

Awe, look at that sad face she has...

Later that day we decided to pack all the kids in the car and go have a feast at Chuck-a-rama! I know.. really??? I used to despise that place when I was younger, my thoughts were eewwww... a buffet, g-r-o-s-s.. UP-Chuck-a-rama was what I used to call it! But I gotta tell ya.. I take it all back completely, at least now. They truly have the. best. salad bar. in. town. and their homemade rolls are to die for. If I'm ever craving a fresh salad bar, Chuck-a-rama's the place to go, and of course the kids love getting their own plates and being able to pick out whatever they want to eat, drink and have for dessert! 

 Oh how I love my Man...

(the deer we saw near our house on our New Years Day family drive)

2 really nice chairs for sale!

 In case you'd be interested.. I'm selling these chairs. They are really nice and haven't received hardly any wear and tear with being in our front room until just recently when we got a piano. Another good thing is that their coloring is neutral and goes with just about any color scheme nicely. They were originally $500.+ per chair. I'm asking $250. per chair. 

If you're interested or you know someone who might be, let me know! Thanks!!

we didn't have any big party plans to ring in the new year...

..but everything fell into place & worked out just as good as if we'd planned it ahead.

We usually always have my parents down to our cozy little home to celebrate, but my Mom was still trying to get over a cold so they opted to stay in for the night. 

Carly was able to come over and watch McKynlee so we could take the rest of the kids to see Gulliver's Travels. That was fun, I laughed a lot... I love Jack Black, he's hilarious. He can just be standing there doing nothing and I laugh, he's just a funny, goofy guy!

Later that evening the kids got invited to go with some neighbors to Pirate Island for pizza and playing in the arcade 'til they ran out of coins or energy, whichever came first. After that they came back for late night movies at the neighbors house too. 


Andres & I spent a quiet evening at home. We ate cheddar broccoli soup topped with crispy bacon pieces with Kynlee and tucked her in for a good nights rest shortly after. Then we cuddled up ourselves and watched movies together 'til the kids came home screaming happy new year!

 (Chandler thought the non-alcoholic peach wine was super sour)

  
We ended the night and started the new year with a toast for good cheer & happy days ahead. Then we all went outside in freezing cold temperatures for fireworks & the boys shot off some rounds with their airsoft guns into the snow while we let the dogs run around in the culdesac.

And that's how we spent our perfectly unplanned new years eve!!!